Mind is a place where thoughts are created. Let my mind say in its own way....
Love makes us stop "existing" and start "living"
If you want to know why there's a Love that cannot lie
Love is strong, it only cares for joyful giving
If we try, we shall see In this bliss we cannot feel fear or dread
We stop existing and start living
(Michael Jackson - Heal the World)
The above passage is a portion of "Heal the World" lyrics, which is the first song that I admired from Michael Jackson when I was a teenager. As I listened to the song again, and reflected on the lyrics, the above portion really struck me as it has a very profound meaning that I doubt many people have realised it.
First of all, it speaks about the honesty of Love, the strong feeling that only cares for joyful giving without expecting nothing back in return. This is exactly an Unconditional Love, that Buddhists often term it as Loving-Kindness (Metta). If you think that you have Love for someone, somebody, something, or anything ... please check if your Love falls into this category. If the feeling you experience does not only care for "joyful giving", in other words you still expect something back in return, then it is not an unconditional love spoken in this lyrics. In other words, your love is still conditional.
The unconditional love is the kind of love that truly liberates us ... truly liberates us from the concern for "I, me, mine".... since it only cares for "joyful giving". The more we give, the higher the joy is. That's why the lyrics states that "in this bliss [of joyful giving], we cannot feel fear or dread". There's no space for those negative feelings in unconditional love.
The ceasing of the concern for "I, me, and mine" really implies "we stop existing". Because we no longer concern only for "ourselves", but we concern for the happiness of everyone, of others, of all beings ... we no longer have a boundary between "me" and "others" which is called "self (ego)". What left is only "us", not "me and you". In this way, we really "stop existing and start living" . We start living a better world ... a peaceful world ... and a happy world ... where all our actions are filled with joy and care for the happiness of all of us.
While the world is in the midst of remembering Michael Jackson, for his personality or his contribution to the world, let us take this opportunity to also remember and reflect this message of humanity in this song. May all of us be happy ... may all of us truly live with joy, and may all the "ego/self" that creates boundaries among all beings stop existing. Let's heal the world, by first freeing us from the "self" and by cultivating the True unconditional love within us. Peace and happiness with us.
With Loving-Kindness,
Luis
A story on Hypnotherapy and Anorexia
Some of us may be quite familiar with the term "hypnotherapy". It is a therapy done by psychologists to help patients' problems with their behaviours. The aim of hypnotherapy was using hypnosis to help patients locate the source of the problems that are usually hidden deep inside their memories. Examples of problems are people who are afraid of height, or afraid of water, afraid of eating/taking sea food, etc. In most cases, after the therapy, the patients do not remember what they have spoken when they were unconscious. Hence, the psychologists would usually record them down and analyse through the record that is kept confidential.
It is interesting that most of the problems lie in the patients' childhood experiences. Some even in their past lives. There are certain past experience that the patients have long forgotten but the impact is still strong in their present situations. There is one story shared by Ajahn Brahm about an anorexia patient in Australia that he encountered recently, who went for hypnotherapy session. The patient is a young teenage girl. Anorexia is a psychological eating disorder, where the patient always thinks that her body is too fat, no matter how slim she is, and hence refuses to eat or touch any food. To a certain degree, this disorder has become a serious disease that leads to person's malnutrition and triggers other diseases.
This was what happened to this young girl. She became very thin and often falling sick due to malnutrition. Her mother who was very worried about her, finally heard about hypnotherapy and decided to give it a try. The mother then brought her daughter to a psychologist and made appointment for one session of hypnotherapy. The therapy started and the girl became unconscious and started to tell a story, guided by the psychologist. The memory was dig deep into her past life. She recalled that she was born in a family of two daughters, and she was the second daughter. Although she looked alike with her elder sister and both had nice figure, she often thought that her sister was prettier and had nicer figure than her.
At one point, they fell in love with the same handsome boy. Both of them aware of each other's feeling towards the boy, and in some way they ran into a 'competition' to win the boy's heart. The elder sister won. The boy fell in love with the elder sister and this hit the younger sister very had. The younger sister thought that her sister could win because she had nicer figure than hers. This led the younger sister to hate her body so much. The elder sister then got married with the boy, and the younger sister ran into a depression. Being depressed, she decided to take away her own life. On her sister's wedding day, she committed suicide.
So, that is where the problem locates. The reason for the girl being anorexia was her past experience in her previous life. But that is not the main point in this story. During the hypnotherapy session, as she unconsciously spoke more and more details of the story, her mother was getting more and more hysterical. Until one time, her mother was screaming and crying loudly. Do you know why? Yes, her mother was the "elder sister". She recalled clearly that she had a younger sister, who fell in love with the same boy, and she won the competition and married the boy. On her wedding day, her younger sister committed suicide. The details spoken by her daughter exactly the same as what she experienced. And now, she knew, that her 'younger sister' had been reborn in her womb as her daughter.
This story is pretty shocking that sometimes we don't realise our connection with people surrounding us, and the root of problems that may lie in our relationship with them in the past. The good news was after the hypnotherapy, the psychologist and the parents worked together to help the teenager to overcome her psychological disorder and it worked. Slowly, the girl could let go of her past experience and starts to love herself. Having learned the past connection with her, the mother became more caring towards her daughter, and she could learn to let go of her previous guilt that caused the death of her younger sister, by taking care with loving kindness of the re-becoming of her younger sister as her daughter.
Indeed... forgiveness towards others is important, but more importantly is forgiveness towards our own mistakes. By forgiving our past mistakes, we understand that things had happened and could not be undone. And this lead us to the freedom from the past. The wise thing to do is to make the best of what we have towards the situation that we face. The loving kindness and care shown by the mother towards her daughter had helped both of them overcome the 'guilt' from the past and the 'present' problems rooted in the past.
Too many tasks to do... too many deadlines to catch... too many ideas should be generated... too many inspirations needed... too many responsibilities to bear .... too much distractions along the way... too many things to revise...
Too little time to accomplish so much.... too little knowledge to cover that much... too little sleep that I had for so many nights .... too little time to do 'things that I want' ... too little energy to raise me up ... too little resources I can rely on.
Burden is getting heavier and heavier ... it is like carrying a backpack, where in every moment there is always something going in... make it heavier and heavier... as I pass through the time. The energy keeps on decreasing, while the burden is getting heavier .... what a balance it is .... what to do? How should I do it? I need a break.
"Put those things down!" that's a statement that I immediately recall from my teacher of whom I respect most. I remember once he demonstrated in front of us ... lifting up a bottle of mineral water and keep the arm straight to hold it up in the air ... He told us, "if I hold this up for a minute, it is okay. Hold it longer for 10 minutes, my arms start to get tried. Hold it for half an hour, my muscles start to cramp. Hold it for one hour, my arms become weak and cannot hold it up anymore. Holding it for another one hour, people will start calling me a stupid monk!"
It's not the bottle that is getting heavier.... it is us who hold it for too long. Stress is not about having too many things to do, but holding on into things for too long. That's the wisdom that he shared with us through this demonstration. So in that case, what should we do? The answer is very easy.... just put it down. Release it from all the tensions and your arms will be free and relieved. Relax.... even if it's only for few minutes. When you relax... do relax to the maximum level. Don't carry any single heavy burden for those relaxing moments, not even any single thought of them, just enjoy the peace and freedom.... enjoy it with a cup of tea if you like. Then after few minutes of best quality relaxing time, you will regain your energy back and try to lift the bottle up again.
Can you lift it up? Yes. Do you need a lot of effort to lift it up? No. Can you hold it for some time from now? Yes I do! Do you feel pressure when you are holding it up now? Not at all, all the pressures have gone. Still... the weight of the bottle remains the same, but the stress experienced in holding it up has gone. Indeed stress is not about having too many things to do, but holding on into things for too long. When you hold it up.... give your best effort to hold it up. Optimise the moment in holding it up as much as you can. When the time comes for you to relax... relax to the maximum as well.
So... I put down all my things.... sit comfortably, relaxing all parts of my body. Close my eyes... take a deep breath.... aaaaaah.... I feel the tiredness all over my body, but at the same time I feel relax and feel oxygen going into my lung and carried by blood to circulate all over my body, including my brain. I feel my head is getting lighter ... my aching spread evenly to my shoulders and my back. Relax..... no more work, no more deadlines, no more things to do, no more worries, no more panic, no more things.... I just do nothing.....
In the midst of not doing anything, the only thing that catches my attention is flowing in and out of my breath.... so beautiful, this is the breath that gives me life, carries oxygen through blood to every part of my body... enable me to think and to do my work.... but most of the time I forget about my breath. I even don't realise that it has done so much for me, while I'm busy with my things. It's like my mother who prepares me food, cook for me so that I can gain energy, while I'm too busy indulged with my work. First, I did not even aware that she's cooking. Second, I delayed her call when she called me to eat. And third, I was eating it with all my work in mind and did not give full attention to the love and care she had put in the food that I eat. By not enjoying my food to the maximum, I do not appreciate her love and care. Very straightforward.
No use of regret and guilt, the best should be apologising and not repeating it. Be mindful of how others put their love and care to me, especially in making difference to my life and sustaining my life. Like this beautiful breath.... I can forget my breath for so long that I want, but the breath never ever forget me even for a moment. In an instance when the breath forgets me for 2 seconds, medical research has shown that I will be in coma state, unconscious state of having brain "dead".
Thank you my breath! Keep flowing in and out.... and now I feel my energy back. I feel recharged. I look at the time, I have been sitting silently and enjoying my breath for 15 minutes. Now my head is lighter, feel fresher, and I'm getting more energised. It is better than sleeping for few hours. I take a glance back at my work.... hey I can do this and I can do that, I can modify this and I can modify that. For the next hours, I indulged myself back in my work with much better productivity.
Make the best of what we have... be it in working time, or relaxing time. When we work, work to the max, when we relax, relax to the max. Live from moment to moment of productivity.... and don't forget, for each moment ... our breath has given us life. Appreciate it by making the best of each moment, it's like enjoying the love and care that my mother put in the food, by truly enjoying every bite of it. Hmmm... so nice, so delicious. Thank you Mom!
As if the manuscripts in front of me do not catch enough attention from me haha. Oh well, but I realise that blogging gives me another sense of looking at different thing in my life. At least I can have few minutes to reflect back on what has been happening in life. 
looking back at myself 6 months ago, I have actually changed a lot. Many of my colleagues actually commented that I have become a quiet person (does that mean I used to be a noisy one?) and very focused. Some even do not dare to distract me, they scared when they have to knock my office door (you know, I am the doorkeeper by 'feng shui') and they always apologised (not saying 'thank you' anymore) when I opened the door for them. And then, although they never mention this, but I know that I have become less friendly to people surrounding me 
